Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
Men built civilisations. Men went to the moon. Men invented the modern comforts of today’s society.
Women did none of those. They are useless, only fit to be baby making machines.
Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!
Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.
Person 1: Really?
Person 2: They're not even that deep.
HELLO EVERYONE, I AM FAMOUS YOUTUBER MRBEAST. I HAVE A ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE ON THIS WEBSITE: Whoever gets the 1000th comment on the post I link below will get 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS, FROM ME! We're almost there, get commenting guys!
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603e8cd3eccd25122cb21897/guys-lets-make-this-post-have-the-most-comments-on-the-whole-website
Make this post have 1000 comments.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
What's it called when a Black person makes a joke? A joke, you racist.
JK, dark humor.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
