Make jokes
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.
Your mum is so ugly she could make an onion cry.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"I'm still standing, yeah, yeah, yeah!" (from Elton John)
Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.
I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.
Now it's time to make fun of Asians.
What do you call an Asian eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
What kind of flour do orphans use to make bread?
Self-raising.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.