Make jokes
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?
Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.
Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.