Make jokes
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
I felt bad for a dog, and I looked to my left, and there was an orphan, and I said I will make you a website, and I said there won't be a homepage.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.
What makes an orphan jump?
A bridge.
(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.
(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.
I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭