*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas. "I don't understand it, Doc", she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas". "Thankfully", she added, "they are at least silent when I fart". Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him. The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled. The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 ONEted TWO bring THREE knives FOUR surFIVEal, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hEIGHTed him, and didn’t have beNINE inTENtions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in".
say this out loud: alpha Kenny one
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist
Hey guys Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone he says there name really loud. Billy-Hey guys I just got back from my DADS!! Wait what Billy??
Loud Korea noise
It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
Guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud this is the pig I screw when your on the rag and is wife replies that's not a pig its a sheep and he says I was talking to the sheep.
say this out loud Gabe Itch
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
"Go big or go home", that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud", that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!", that's what I say.
People judge me because im quiet
no one plans a massacre out loud
Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
So little johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!
If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?
Little johnny smiled and said: A bus driver!
This is NOT my joke i found it on google its a texting joke Mom:Son youre grandma just passed away LOL Son:mom what do you mean LOL that means laughing out loud Mom:oh no i thought that meant lots of love i have to text everyone back!!!!
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
