Lost jokes
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
"You look like you've lost some weight."
"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"
How did Stephen Hawking actually die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection.
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull.
The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."
Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always follow the beat.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.