Lost jokes

Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?

Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."

Why don’t rappers ever get lost?

They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.

Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.

Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.

...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.

As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

Why are Americans so bad at class royals?

Because they already lost 2 towers.

Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?

Because they lost two towers already.

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.

Kid me: I lost my stick.

Teacher: No, you didn’t.

Kid me: How do you know that?

Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.

Why does Britain suck at chess?

They lost their queen.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.