Lost jokes
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.
One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.
"He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Why are Americans so bad at class royals?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"