Lost jokes
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."
The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.