Lost jokes

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

He lost a water gun fight.

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?

Everywhere.

The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.

I quit my job at the bank today. I lost interest.

Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.

My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔

Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!

Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!

Why couldn't the sunflower ride its bike? It lost its petals!