Loss jokes
Why can't an orphan have an iPad?
They can't find the home button.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
Orphans are stupid, am I right? Hehehehehehehehehehehe.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
What does an orphan and Spider-Man have in common?
They have no "why home" 👹
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What do Jesus and I have in common? Our dads left us...
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive subject.
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Why do all orphans get iPhone X's?
There isn't a home button.
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
I made a website for an orphan.
It had no homepage.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!