Loss jokes
The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
Once there were twins, Mark and Michael. Mark was the owner of an old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible." Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted.
Why do orphans hate playing baseball?
'Cause they can't get a home run.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
A girl came to my house. She said, "Where are your parents?" I started crying.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A selfie.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.