Loss jokes

A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?

Because it doesn’t have a home button.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.

If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.

Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.

Why did the orphan eat cereal with water?

Their dad did not come home with the milk.

Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.

Q: Can orphans hit a home run?

A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?

Because there is never anyone at the door.

Why'd the orphan cross the road? He was told his parents were on the other side.

What do an orphan's parents have in common with Nemo? They all can't be found.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.

One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...