you know what the difference between kobe bryant and russel westbrook, he wears 0 and kobe has 0 lives left
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."
Most controversial types of matter: 1. Dark matter 2. Anti matter 3. Black lives matter
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Dont take drugs kids! Me: my therapist says i need those to live D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escourts to school counselor_
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day. Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
I love Alabama. I live their. I have a sign that says Sweet Home Alabama!
Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I'm not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, "Your wife" The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
what do you call a house with noone living inside? a orphan house
why is bieng alive so expensive im not even having a good time
Little boy asked his dad why was he was born black. Father replied, so the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin. Then he asks why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire. So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you. Then what are we doing living in Rochdale. (England)
At least he got D.L.A. Disability Living Allowance so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there
*In thick Russian accent Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid urkrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die.
Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that? Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?" Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first
Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “do aliens exist” “of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
RAPE IS NO LAUGHING MATTER THE REASON WHY WOMEN ARE NOT BELIEVED IN RAPE IS BECAUSE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKING SHITBIRDS WITH NO FUTURE WHO WILL BECOME DRUNKARDS AND DRUG DEALERS WHO GO BROKE AND LIVE ON THE STREET GETTING HIT BY A FUCKING CARE FUCK ALL OF YOU SADITS WHO THINK THIS KIND OF SHIT IS FUNNY WELL SHUT THE FUCK UP GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE OR GET HIT BY CAR AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING SICKOS DIE a STOP RAPE STOP RAPPE STOP RAPIBG INNOCENT CHILDREN AND WOMEN AND MEN I AM DONE WITH RAPE I AM DONE WITH IT!
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
A toddler, was giving her daddy a tea party She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea , her Mom came home, Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!
