Living Will jokes
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
Memes
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
Why are fish smart?
They live i a school.
Why are fish smart?
They live in a school.
I lick poo for a living... You?
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
My dignity to live.
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.