Little jokes
Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
The man walks into a bar, reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player. The piano player starts playing the piano. The guy next to him asks where he got that. The man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes.
So the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside. He says to the genie, "I want a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and a million ducks appear in the road. The man comes back inside and says, "Hey, that genie is a little hard of hearing." The man says, "Well, did you really think I'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?"
I'd make a farming joke, but I'm just a little less than corny enough.
It's always the little things that make us laugh.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
Q: Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
A: Because he got hit by a bus.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
So Little Johnny saw a robbery, so he tried to stop the robber. To the robber's surprise, he was amazed. So Johnny got 20 shots to the head. The End.
I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.