Life jokes
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.
Bluey
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
Red, black, blue. The colors of life.
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Life is like a penis. It is short.
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
What do emos do?
Hang.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.