Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
What's the difference between an orphan and a toy?
One is played with.
Q: Why is it good being an orphan?
A: Because the family sized bag is all there's.
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To because he wanted to find home >:D
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
You know it’s called the circle of life? Because there’s no point to it.
Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.
10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.
