Life jokes
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Life is like a penis. It is short.
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
What song do you play at a emo kid's funeral?
House of Pain—"Jump Around."
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
What do emos do?
Hang.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
I refuse to go bungee jumping. I was brought into this world from broken plastic, and I REFUSE to die the same way.