Life jokes
Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now.
Your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy. Ok, ok, ooh, I'm so lit right now, your life is so boring, why you sleepin' on me? I can hear you snorin'. Aye, I'm so lit right now, my diamonds on that lit lit. Why don't you just get up? Aye, yeah, get him 'cause I'm awake, boy.
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
Hi Gwen, how is life!
A. Bad, lame, and suckish.
B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!
C. Perfect!
I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
What’s the difference between milk and the air?
At least the air will always be there for me.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
My sex life.
The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.