Life jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
My fucking life, cya.
Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?
Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.
I say these jokes are life saving material. Who's with me?
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.
If an orphan got hit, will they go tell their parents?
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Why do orphans don't like to eat big bags of chips? Because they're family size.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"