Life jokes
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.
He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower?
One is beautiful.
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
Why is the orphan sad for dinner?
He has no one to eat with at the table.
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.
Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.