Life Support jokes

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.

When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.

What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?

The life support cord.

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.

He went too far away from the wall, and he got unplugged.