Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
Lettuce Jokes
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
Lettuce ketchup.
I wanna die.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
