Length jokes
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
It's too long, sorry. >:)
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
What is long, yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of orphans.
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, "If I can surprise you, I get a free drink." The bartender was unsure but agreed.
The guy pulled a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket, and he starts to play.
The bartender was surprised and gave the guy a free drink.
The guy then says, "You see, I have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes. Can I get another free drink if you get a free wish?"
The bartender agrees without hesitation.
The bartender wishes for 1000 bucks, but he gets 1000 ducks.
"WTF!" the man shouts.
The guy answered, "Did you think I wanted a 30cm long pianist?"
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
What is long and not hairy?
The conga line in the cancer department.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
What’s ten feet long and bald?
The conga line in the cancer ward.
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.