I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
I adopted a dog. its gone now. At least homeless people in china are not starving.
"TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN" ==========================
(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :
......"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the fuck up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!" (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that's synonymous for being fucked up, for instance"....
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN'S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT'S MALIGNANT, YOU'RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE "HUMP"
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO TO HELL !!
.... "Well that's about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! ......(splort!, plop!)....... OOOOPS !! ..... sniff,sniff ........ Ewww !" (audience roars) "Fuhhhhk !... I better go, 'cause I just went !! ..... Ha! ha! ha!"
......"Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!" ............
(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin', guns poppin')
"OH LORDY !!... HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN' THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE!!"
(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi.........with the windows down) .......Amen. ==============================
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you starting at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you 'baby' now~
what do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce wait do not leave yet if you are still reading this you have been rekt ha ha at least im still laughing.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will. Sadly, no pun InTenDid.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose tell his family he/she was a fruit now he/she's a vegetable at least there still in the produce section
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light.
At least 13 because my basement is still dsrk
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
Ok there is at least 3 pedophile in your neighborhood. But there is no pedophiles in my neighborhood the is only 3, 10 year old girls with juicy asses
Old man goes to the doctor.
The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"
What is Hitler's least favorite month?
Jewly.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
