Laughter Jokes

What do you call a funny rapper?

A PUN-ISHER!

Why did the chair file a restraining order?

The booty wouldn't stop cracking up!

A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."

Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Why do asscheeks make great friends?

They always stick together!

What did the ass say to the joke?

"You crack me up!"

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

For the encore, we'd love to tell you a construction joke but... we're still working on it.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

What is red and cries and spins around and around?

- A baby in a microwave.

Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?

A: They always seem to cut a little too close.

If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.

If laughter is contagious, LEO is immune.

What do you call a fart in a gay bar?

A mating call.

I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.

Their life is a joke.

Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."