"Dees nutz, got 'em!"
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
