So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
What is the one thing cripples can't do? ... Stand-up comedy.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:
Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!
Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
Pokemon Jokes!
What do you do when your Loudred evolves?
Buy more earplugs!
Orphan: *crying* You: Do you know where your parents are? Orphan: No. Your Friend: They don't have parents!!! You: 😂 I know.
wanna see a joke open the front facing camera
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Bro my friend told me all his humour is dead and dry and i was like just like 911 victims.
When you ask your friend'Can I hear a joke. ̈ ̈Sure ̈ ̈What do orphans and orange peels have the same. ̈ ̈What? ̈ ̈They both get thrown out
I CANT WITH THESE LMAOO
Want to hear an abortion joke, or any joke for that matter? You have that option, and you can thank your mother for that. But that's a question that will never be heard by an aborted unborn baby, whose only option was death. And that's no joke.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
