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Last Jokes

When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"

Once in 4th grade Rn I told a random tree Hey my day is bad rn can we hang later? The tree said: Yeah we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy

Whats the difference between a wanted person and a wanted handicapped person, the handicapped person wasn’t last seen on foot.

So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted

The best night of my life was when gave my virginity to wife and her last word was when she called me “Mommy” at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.

Last night I had sex and she said stop talking about shit omg and I made her scream so loud she said her balls Hurt...

There were three woman, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL.. Then comes in a famous rapper guess which one he picked ???

a little girl said one day " grandmas gonna die tonight". the next morning the girl's grandmother's body was found. that day she said again " Grandpas gonna die tonight" sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning. that day she said " daddy's gonna die tonight." the girls father was terrified. he lay shaking the entire night. somehow, he survived until morning. his wife came into the room crying. he asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.