last night i burned down an orphanage there was one survivor who said i would regret it i said "what are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why are people in Japan always skinny?
Because last time there was a Fat Man, a whole city disappeared.
It's said Duracell batteries are to last 75 yrs, well Stephen here you are
A kid walks in late to class, the teacher asks him "why are you late?" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake" Another kid walks in late to class and the teacher asks him "why are you late" and he replies "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake", The last kid walks in and the teacher says "why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back REMEBER MY NAME IS PEBBLES!!
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
I still remember my granpas last words: turn the lawn mower off!
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Friened says, "your so drunk last night, u throu a mushroom at a migit and said grow mario grow.
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much so I unplugged his life support. Luckily I remember his last words . "You little bastard!"
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
Dr. Seuss Died September 24 but that was a lie Dr. Seuss when he was 97 he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes Dr. Seuss allahuakbar”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath.....when all of a sudden.....I felt a tap on my shoulder.
1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
2. Oh you’re talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back.
3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.
What was Stephen Hawkins last words? System failure
