Last will jokes
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
Alahu-Akbar.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
Going in a military.
The last thing I heard from them is: "Goodbye!"
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."
Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂