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Last will jokes

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).

She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

How did pioneers name Canada?

They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"

That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country?

A: Last time they had a fat man, 80,000 people died.

Student: Why does everyone hate me?

Another student: Because U got the A last night.

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

He grabs a noose.

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    • Why did Oliver have no friends?

    His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.

    I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.

    She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."

    A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"

    "Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"