There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
Stephen landed at Tilted and got 199 pumped, he's 1 shot!
Landing Greasy Grove.
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
Bick: Jesus isn't real.
Ron: Yes, He is.
Bick: Prove it, bitch.
Ron: Cussing is a sin. Open the curtains.
Bick: Wh-?
Ron: JUST DO IT, DAMMIT!
The sunlight shone through the window, landing on Ron and Bick. Both of them died and went to hell.
Ron: Fuck you, Jesus.
Bick: Told you Jesus was real.
Satan: Get to work, slaves.
Moral of the story: Stay off the marijuana.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
You can’t land on Uranus XD
Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
Happy was a cute hippo.
Happy sleeps in the water.
Happy walks on land.
Happy runs on Savannahs.
Happy swims in mud.
Happy takes a bath.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
Control tower to Boeing 747, you're clear to land on (said person)'s forehead.
