How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Why can't a woman find a glory hole inside of the lady's room?
Because piss comes out of a woman's pussy.
Once there was an old lady...
Congratulations, stop bragging!
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
There was a cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She sucked!
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21
Old ladies are non existent.
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!
What's long and can never wait for more for the ladies' action and likes when it gets harder...
Your penis!
