Labor jokes

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything.

What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

Your job still sucks.

A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.

What is more time-consuming than children?

Waiting for your wife to go into labor!

Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.

I did a ton of work today, a skele-ton.

I've done a ton of work today.

A SKELE-ton of work!

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?

Give her a shovel.