Know jokes
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
Nobody knows how bad you smell.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
A mom says to her son: "Hey, can you wave to that deaf kid over there?"
The son: "I don't know, can I?"
The mom: "May you?"
The son: "No, I don't have any arms!"