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One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.

Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

The end.

What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.

So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."

  • 5

    • Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?

    Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!

    I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)

    -Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!

    -LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA

    What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.

    The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

    I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

    The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!

    I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.

    OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.

    So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.

    I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.

    My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

    I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

    My favorite toast for parties:

    May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

  • 0

    • Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.

    A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"