Know jokes
Why are you sad?
I’m depressed. I know black people could cry.
Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone, you ugly two-faced hypocrite!
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t like ugly peasants.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: I hate your hair color, though.
Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Then open your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, hypocrite!
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you dead.
R.I.P.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: F*** you, pedophile!
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services for pedophiles.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down, you little peasant.
Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Every other woman I see looks ugly. Bleuch!
Woman: How dare you!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. I saw you playing with boxes in the store room and saying "I AM KING OF THE WORLD!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Why don't headless people have a head in class?
Because they know that they will be ahead of the class. XD
Did you know that French fries aren't from France? They're cooked in Greece.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
Do you want to know how to make a Smurf? CHOKE A MIDGET!
There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.
There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂