Knock

Knock jokes

Mum

    • I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

    She said, "Yes."

    "Knock knock."

    I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

    Cow

    • "Knock, knock?"

    "Who's there?"

    "Cow said."

    "Cow said who?"

    "Cow says moo you ding dong!"

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    • Bar

    • Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

    The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

    Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

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    • North Tower

    • Knock, knock!

    Who’s there?

    Kamikaze!

    Kamikaze wh—

    おいおい、お前を殺して、その塔ごと地面に叩き込んでやるぞ! いいな?

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    • Bear

    • The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"

    Snail

    • A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

    He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

    He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

    Three years later there's a knock at the door.

    He opens it and sees the same snail.

    The snail says, "What was that all about?"

    History

    • Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!

    Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.

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