Knock jokes
I told this knock knock joke to Helen Keller...
Me: Knock Knock
Her:
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the gay man's house?
Knock knock, it's the gay man. There's a chicken at my house.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ya.
Ya who?
Yahooooo!!!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Maserati.
Maserati who?
Why don't you clean up this Maserati?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Golly.
Golly who?
Godly leave me alone!
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Oswald. Oswald who? Oswald my Halloween candy and now it's stuck in my throat!
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"
God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho Cheese!