Knock jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I did not say banana? Ha ha!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Fix the door, it's broken!
Knock knock.
Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- The doorbell repairer.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollinnnnnn!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.