Kids jokes

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.

When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;

Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?

Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.

Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.

Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

Hear the one about the deaf kid?

He didn't.

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.

Students: Damn!

Teacher: Is anyone missing?

Students: Your parents!

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me what you did?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

I saw a depressed kid and I gave him a lamp to lighten up his day.

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.

You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?

When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...

...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.

Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."