Kids jokes
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
How do two emo kids greet each other?
"I like ya cut, G."
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.
Which one fell first?
The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.
I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.
I think we know why.
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah.
Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna," but dumb-ass Jill forgot her pills, and now they have 12 kids.
Mom: Kid, bring your toys and clothing to the car. We're going to Disney Land.
Kid: Ok.
*Bring kid to the orphanage*.
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.
I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
I eat kids.
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
A kid and an apple fall from a tree, who will reach the ground first?
The apple, because the kid is hanging on the tree with a rope.