Kids jokes
POV: Me going to jail after giving the orphan kid a computer without the motherboard.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
Why is Michael Jackson on the naughty list this year?
Because he sexually kids 😂
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.
The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry 😭😭
A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.
Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
I put my heart and soul in my report, then my teacher says:
"Hey KIDS were going to repeat making current events about our state til we DIE."
....No wonder when kids leave school they're soulless.
RIP Meh Soul.
When I was acting up, my mother used to tell me, "I brought you into this world, and I will take you out. I gave you life, and I can also take it." So my son was acting up and talking back to me. Now I'm being charged with murder. I don't understand. I thought it was okay to kill your own kids.