Kids jokes

There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

Kid: I have the corona virus!

Nurse: Here is an ice pack.

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

What do Priests and School shooters have in common?

They both blast little kids in the face.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."

What do you call an emo cancer kid?

Chemo.

Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?

'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.

Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!

VOTING SEMIFINAL 1

LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.

DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.

Vote for the better joke.

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"

Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."

I eat kids.

What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?

Bunk beds.