Kids jokes
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
What’s the difference between kids and drugs?
I don’t hide drugs in my basement.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?
Minesweeper.
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.