Kids jokes
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
Why do trees never call emo kids?
The emos always hang up on them.
How do terrorists feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane... and then the second!"
Here’s what I did to the kids at the orphanage. I dropkicked 12, lit 10 on fire, comboed 9, punched 3, and murdered 1.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.