Kids jokes
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then I yelled, "Rocket League!"
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.