Kids jokes
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
They're both turned on by kids.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
CANCER!
Just kidding, they are both fun to laugh at.
When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's Sketchers light up.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
What do you call a flat emo kid?
A cutting board.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house to get to a tree and a house to get to the earth to get home 🏡? Day today I have to get my kids and oooooo.
Why do apple trees like emo kids?
Because they like to play yoyo with them.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...
Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...
I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...
When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.
I saw a kid crying in the corner of the room and I said, "Are you OK? Where are your parents?" and he started crying even more.
I love working in an orphanage.
How do emo kids complement each other?
They say, "I like ya cuts g."
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."