Kids jokes
What do dark humor and kids with cancer have in common? They never get old.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
Did you hear about the emo kid in a wheelchair? Exactly.
(Bus Driver) What did you learn in school today?
(Kid) We learned that you are a sussy baka.
(Bus Driver) Oh yeah? Well, I quit!
(Kid) Quit what?
(Bus Driver) Living.
(Kid) But it was a joke!
(Bus Driver) Doesn't matter. I will die, but you will still be alive.
(Kid) Ok.
(Bus Driver) That was a joke, too!
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
Yo mama so stupid, she told the police a kid raped her.
What game do emo kids hate the most?
Life.
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
What’s kid Among Us?
Sugoma dik!
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they all sit in the dark.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.