What did the emo kid say to the cashier? ... "Scan my wrists."
Kids Jokes
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.
Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."
A normal kid brings an MP3 to school.
A rich kid brings an MP4 to school.
A quiet kid brings an MP5.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.
An emo kid in a leaf falls from a tree. Who falls first? Delete the rope, stop the emo.
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. 😂🤣
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?
The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
When the emo kid went to high five the tree, the tree left him hanging.
FUCK EMO KIDS!
