Kids jokes
When I saw your hairline, I thought I saw kid Jason Voorhees.
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."
When the emo kid says let’s play truth or dare, You know it’s about to hang over.
A guy sees a kid crying, and the guy walks up to the kid and asks, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
How do you call an autistic kid with a pistol?
Special forces.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Girl, are you a public school? Because I want to shoot my kids inside you.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."