What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
Kids Jokes
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
Remember kids, if ever you're bored, kick an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Why does the emo kid skip class?
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
I can't imagine him moaning with the kids, "Hi, uh, ya daddy, uh HEE!"
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
What do you call a kid on a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
