Kids jokes
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder.
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
What do you call an autistic kid coming to school with a gun?
Special Forces incoming!
What does a roller coaster and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids ride for free.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.
I love my job at the orphanage.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.