Kids jokes
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.
Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.
Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide squad.
I saw a kid crying and I asked him, "Where are his parents?"
God, I love working at orphanages!
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?
Are you kidding me?!?
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.