Kids jokes

What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?

Coach.

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...

They're both plastic and kids turn them on.

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...

Just kidding!

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

I saw a little kid crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Students: "Meat."

Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"

Students: "Bacon."

Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"

One of the students: "Homework!"

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.