Kid

Kid Jokes

Parent

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Reason

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

Mom

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

Class

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

Teeth

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.

Orphanage

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

Priest

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

Movie

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

Rape

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

Parent

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

Rape

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"