Kid Jokes

What's the autistic kid's favorite song? Yours.

What school does a depressed middle school kid go to?

KMS.

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.

But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.

I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow kids thought they were mini school buses.

What jumps higher than a basketball player?

An emo kid, they never touch the ground.

What is an Iraqi kid's favorite game?

Minesweeper.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

What do a priest and a pedo have in common?

Nothing, they both like kids.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

So, I was raping this girl the other night, and she said, "Please just think of my kids!" I was like, "What a freak."

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?

Dribble.

Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"

Kid named Teacher: *

What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?

Sum ting wong.

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.

The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;