Jungle jokes
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.
While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."
So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
Monky.
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
Why can’t monkeys play in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.