Jump jokes
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
I be ready to commit suicide.
But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.
A man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up.
The executioners asked, "How'd you do that?"
He said, "I had magic chips. Here, take some."
They eat them, jump off, and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says, "You're a real a**hole when you're drunk, Superman!"
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
How do you know that Americans hate exercise?
9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
Why did the cliff feel offended?
Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life.
(I'm sorry... No, I'm not!)
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.