Jump

Jump Jokes

How do you know that Americans hate exercise? 9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?!

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43,43,43. A kid walks up to the man and says “why are you saying 43,43,43”. The man stops and looks at him then he starts jumping again and says 43,43,43. The kid asked him again and so on. Then the man stops opens the pothole throws the kid in, closed the starts jumping in says 44,44,44!!!

a man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up. The executionares asked "how'd you do that?" he said, " I had magic chips, here, take some"they eat them, jump off and die.

He asks for more chips, and the guy says "you're a real a**hole when you're drunk superman."

Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.

Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.

Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.

A man walks into a sky scraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An on looker watch’s this and is scared but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped cane back up a gain 10 minutes later. The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive and the man said with a drunk slurred voice I “I don’t know every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT! The bartender looks at the first man and says”Your and a-hole when your drunk Superman.”

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to burry them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat though.”

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Sally jumped out a plane, She forgot her parachute!

Knock knock

Whose there?

Not Sally...

How did she die?

A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky Knock knock

Whose there?

A bomb

A jumping cable walked into a bar and the bartender said ̈i will serve you, but don't start anything! ̈