Joke jokes
What do you call a dead fly? -- A flew.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
Memes
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
The emo kid tried to high five the tree.
But the tree left him hanging.
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
What is red and white and goes 200 mph?
A baby in a blender.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Your hairline goes all the way back to when Burger King was a Burger Prince.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
What did the lungs say to the cigar?
"You take my breath away..."
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.