Joke jokes
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Just came up with a smart new way to make jokes. Try to figure it out without context
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?
Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!
That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
Yo forehead so large, it has its own gravitational pull.
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.