Joke jokes
I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims: they went through a hundred stories in 10 seconds.
Why did the man put himself on fire?
To BURN Calories.
"Hippity hoppity, don't abolish my property!"
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?