Joke jokes
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
What did Santa say when he got to the club? Ho, ho, ho!
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-bone.
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
This text does not contain a joke.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
Funny.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.