Joke jokes

What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?

An orphan.

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”

In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.

Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.

Why did the blind man fall down the well?

He couldn't see that well.

What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin' Catholic.

Having homosexual parents must be terrible.

Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".

What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?

"U Can't Touch Kids."

I have many jokes about unemployed people, but sadly, none of them seemed to have worked.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."

What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?

A beagle!