Joke jokes
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
Memes
damnn
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.